


Mind Over Matter

by agirlnamedtruth



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Infidelity, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Bathroom, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Past Relationship(s), Sex Toys, Sexual Fantasy, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:21:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6738055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/pseuds/agirlnamedtruth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even though she's trained her lips to say Alaric, she can't help what her mind wanders to even after three years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mind Over Matter

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt "you can't say Alaric and be thinking Stefan" at [MMOM](http://mmom.livejournal.com). I haven't caught all the way up yet so this might be a bit AU.

Caroline breathed a sigh of relief as she closed the bathroom door. It was her day off, Alaric had taken the twins to the park and finally, even down to the last sock, the washing was done. Caroline was having a bath, in peace, on her own, that was the end of that. She’d lit candles, she’d put on soothing music, she was certain the jojoba oil she’d poured into the water had still smelled of something vaguely exotic even though it had been sat on the side for well over a year, and she’d dug out her waterproof vibrator from the deepest, darkest, dustiest corner of her underwear draw. That’s how determined she was. 

Running her fingers through the water, she turned off the taps, satisfied it was just the right side of pleasantly too hot, the kind that prickled the skin and made you sweat. Slipping out of clothes, she took her time to undress, romancing herself. As she sank down slowly into the tub, she sighed, the hot water dulling all the stress that came with her life now, the stress she wouldn’t give up for the whole world but she would like to unburden herself of for just five minutes.

Closing her eyes, she reached blindly for her wineglass, sipping the hot blood, moaning appreciatively as it filled her up, her mind turning to other pleasures. Setting the glass down out of reach, she stroked over her skin, teasing herself, thinking about how good it would feel to have her toy inside her again after so long of trying to cover her mouth to muffle herself and barely move so as not to make the bed creak and wake up the kids. Groaning in frustration, Caroline realized just how long it had been since she’d had a proper, carefree, full body orgasm. God, she needed it so bad. She couldn’t wait another second.

Moving quickly, she wrapped her hand around the toy, dipping it in the water to heat it before turning it on, the harsh sound of the motor turning her on even more, knowing she could be as loud as she liked and she didn’t have to worry about anyone hearing her.

Pressing the rabbit ears against her clit, she set them to their lowest vibration, her own fingers teasing the lips of her cunt, spreading herself open before she tries pressing one of her fingertips inside her, the water making it glide smoothly in, even when she clenched tight around it.

“Come on,” she said impatiently to herself, resolute to make the most of the time she had. 

Biting her lip, she forced herself to relax, letting her mind drift away on the sea of light vibrations, turning it up a setting, resting her head back against the edge of the tub as she opened herself up with her finger. She started to think about the last time she’d had sex to amp herself up but it had been a quick fumble on the sofa that had ended all too quickly when Lizzie had shouted down from the top of the stairs that she needed a glass of water. The first time she’d had sex with Alaric then, she moved onto, casting her mind back, attempting two fingers and gasping at the feel of them stretching her open. No, the first time had been confusing and hormonal and if she was entirely honest, a little bit weird. She loved Ric, she really did, but it had taken her a while to stop seeing him as... _Alaric and to start seeing him as just Ric._

_That’s what she’d told herself at least, those first few times when she’d been with him but still thinking about Stefan. Her body jolted at the memory, her fingers brushing against her g-spot at just the right time to betray what her body still wanted. Even though she hated him and it hurt so much to even think about him, it had taken her a long time to train herself out of _needing_ him in that way._

_Shaking her head, she pulled her fingers back, open enough to take the toy now, even though her mind was still racing to catch up, trying to leave Stefan in the dust behind her. Ramping up the vibrations high, she gasped out Ric’s name to try and bring the thoughts of him back but she couldn’t purge the ghosts from her mind. As the toy fucked her, its own movements spurred on by the desperate thrusts of her hand, she relived the last time Stefan had made love to her. She remembered the time through the fog of blood and detachment that he’d taken her hard, making her scream out with the intensity of it. Like she was desperately screaming out her fiancé’s name now, trying to trick herself into thinking it was him that made her come like this, pushing the toy deep inside her, shaking and screaming and desperately clawing at the rim of the bathtub to stop herself going under. Her whole body alight with pleasure, she remembered how nice it had been to smile down at him afterwards, her best friend in the most intimate way, the one she could trust completely to never hurt her._

_Breathing heavily and sinking back against the cold china of the tub with a shiver, she sighed, turning away from the room even though she was alone. She reminded herself that wasn’t true and berated herself for forgetting that person was Alaric, not Stefan._

**Author's Note:**

> As of 01/01/18, I'm opting to disable comments. [More information here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13077201).


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